Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
