i can't believe i had my finger in that
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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