I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
