I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
