i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
