I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
