look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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