if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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