Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
