I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
