you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
