If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
