cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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