yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
