it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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