i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
