Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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