And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
