If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
