guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
