the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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