Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
