There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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