you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
