chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
