Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
