ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
