Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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