it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
