: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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