I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I love having hate sex.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
