She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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