I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
