yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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