Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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