We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
