I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
