I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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