Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Im part way to drunk.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
