he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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