First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
