fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
