I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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