You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
