found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
