My nipple is on Facebook.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
