what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
