bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
