Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
