I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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