I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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