the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
